Body hair on a woman and feeling fat and blah

Torn between being smooth and silky and just not giving a damn and letting the hair go free? Tired of feeling too tired to work out, not feeling in shape, but you gotta do something about it?

By: Mar y Sol "Maudie" Miller, BS, IBCLC

Hey Mermaid Mamas! I wanted to share with y'all a feeling that I'm sure you're too familiar with...feeling blah. As a lactation consultant I see lots of mamas that feel this way during pregnancy or early postpartum. Don't even get me started on baby blues and postpartum depression; both of which can sometimes contribute to the blah-ness for sure.

The thing is, I don't think we, as women, get to discuss how we feel in an open forum and I think that it's important to push it to the forefront. Why? So that more and more companies can cater to the very real needs of mothers and women everywhere. I feel that too many people concentrate on the end product...the baby. Don't get me wrong, we all love the baby! Who doesn't? They're adorable little angels. But the mother is still there, still a person, and still continuing through the mental and physical post-partum journey. My concern is that the mother has been working so hard all those months to house this little one, then she has the baby, hormones are all over the place, and many are just trying to keep it together.

My heart breaks for my moms that are apologizing to me for "looking like a mess," or apologizing for forgetting diapers, or crying for giving formula. The list goes on. I say it with my mamas during their consults and I will say it again. DO NOT APOLOGIZE! I get it, I'm an over-apologizer too. Maybe it's just from being raised in the south to be polite, but I'm tired of this politeness only for politeness sake. I want all my Mermaid Mamas to just raise their IDGAF flag and let their armpits be hairy, wear half your pajama set out, and skip the makeup mirror if you want to! If your alarm didn't go off and you overslept from sheer exhaustion, it's ok. You're not a bad mom. If you used to run marathons, and now you're obsessing about the chin fat accumulating on your face, it's ok too. Remember, our bodies are these amazing things that can create baby humans. Literally nothing else anywhere on the planet can make a human baby! What?! Mind blown. Learn to appreciate your beautiful body that made your beautiful child. When you love yourself unapologetically, everyone around you will follow suit.

Family visits to the new baby is one of the most frequent pressures for maintaining appearances and putting on that so-called happy face. So if family's got you down because they're obsessing over the baby and throwing you to the wolves, here are some tips.

1. Tell family that is visiting to please bring food and use disposable plates/utensils

2. Tell family that you're not up for visitors but maybe y'all can do a video call

3. State your needs! make an amazon list of things: nipple cream, ice packs, tucks pads, etc. and share with friends/family that want to visit.

You're not a bad mom or bad person for standing your ground and stating your preferences, likes, dislikes...especially after just having had a baby! If anyone tries to shame you and say things like, "Back in my day, we didn't have all these things and I just had to deal with it. You kids are lucky...blahblahblah." Just listen, resist the urge to shake them. This is a mental thing they're working through. Just say something like, "I hear you, I'm sorry you had to go through that. And my experience is my own. These are things that I need in order to be ok."

Remember, you are worthy. If your cup is full, then it'll be a lot easier to pour from it to your family. We all oversleep sometimes, formula is not the devil, and it's not fat...it's fluff. Appreciate your body and it will appreciate you back. State clearly what YOU need to be ok. Love yourself unapologetically Mermaid Mamas. Y'all deserve it.